I have always been very naive.
Stupid, even. And, I don’t say this lightly, so let it sit for a while.
I can’t imagine why anyone would deliberately undermine me. Especially not someone I interact with every day. Someone I consider a trusted friend or colleague.
When something happens to shake my trust in the world, I shrink back. I enclose myself in a protective shield. Then, because it’s exhausting or because it feels safe again, I start trusting again and I do something to expose myself once more.
And I never learn my lesson. At least I haven’t learned it, yet.
So, it’s no wonder that when I think I can trust someone, I find out that the opposite is true. But then it’s too late: I’ve bared my soul. I’ve made myself vulnerable.
I can’t seem to find a middle ground.
This situation feeds on my self-confidence.
So, wouldn’t it be better if I stayed in the shadows? Hidden? Not saying anything? Protecting myself? Redirecting my energies elsewhere?
Wouldn’t it be better?
Two Writing Teachers Tuesday Slice of Life Challenge