2019

As I sit at my dining room/kitchen table (the downstairs living space in my house boasts an open concept, which I love), I turn to look out at the backyard through the large window that faces me. The snow continues to fall. The sky is gray. It’s starting to get bitter cold. Tomorrow and the day after promise even lower temperatures than today.

Winter in Calgary.

As I write this it seems that the snow is falling with more fury than just a few moments ago. I watch and wonder at the beauty of it all. Of course, as I’m on medical leave this year, I don’t have to interact with inclement weather too much; I can just watch it from the comfort of my dining room table. And, I’m grateful for that.

I’m also grateful that this year, 2019, has proven to be a challenge and a time of introspection for me and certainly for the rest of my family. Though we haven’t talked much about how this year has impacted them in that sense, I know.

It’s funny that as I was writing the previous paragraph, I almost typed that I was grateful that 2019 was coming to an end. Then, I realized that was not right. If it weren’t for this past year and all the painful lessons I’ve learned, I would be on the same self-destructive path leading to the same unexamined and unchanged life.

That’s not an option anymore…thanks to the events of 2019.

As I think about welcoming in the New Year, I need to remember all the learning, intentions, goals and promises I made to myself for a better life.

As I continue to watch the snow fall, I feel content as I anticipate, and plan for, how my life will be different in 2020; 2019 is fully responsible for that.

Cross posted to Two Writing Teachers Tuesday Slice of Life Challenge.

4 thoughts on “2019

  1. I just updated myself on the past several months you have lived and I can see you are living a full life with gratitude and challenges. The snow feels like a renewing, a blanket of crispness, a serene comfort of quiet. It will certainly be a year to remember, a shift, and a moment of–after–that you will always look back on. Wishing you the best.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Betsy. Yes, 2019 will be a year to remember. When my diagnosis happened my husband and I were scared; there’s no other way to put it. But later he said, “When this is over, you will be grateful.” He was referring to the doctors and nurses who were providing care. The truth is that it has been about that and everything else that resulted since the end of April when I had my first meeting with my hematologist.

      Liked by 1 person

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