I’m trying very hard to finish this year on a positive note. I don’t want to leave for the summer feeling sour and negative. However, when at every turn it feels as if doors get closed faster than they’re opened, it’s not easy.
Teaching shouldn’t be so hard. Teachers should be supported in their work and administrators need to be the ones to do that. I am feeling disheartened despite repeated attempts to brave the storms. I have even considered quitting my present job in order to gain some perspective on my professional and personal life.
But something is holding me back.
Is it pride in my past accomplishments? Possibly, but it’s not the determining factor. Is it that I don’t want to let down my ESL students, most of whom will be with me next year? Very likely. Is it the thought that this year has been an anomaly and the hope that next year has to be better and so let’s give it another shot? Possibly.
What is certain is that I will be doing a lot of soul searching this summer about how I’m going to approach the coming school year. Nothing new here. I do this every year just like most teachers I know. However, as I look ahead to my vacation, it’s starting to feel small and crowded: too many projects lined up and not enough time and space in which to do them. But, that view is from today’s hectic end-of-year perspective. Once I wake up Thursday morning and realize I am finally on vacation, I will be able to take a deep breath and start the necessary work that will get me ready for the coming school year. Some of this “work” will be “play” for myself and my family, and some will be professional reading and planning that teachers do every summer. One project I will be involved in is Teachers Write, which starts tomorrow, June 24th. Come join us.
And, I’m off and running.