grandmother · mother-in-law

Grandmother?

My daughter got married a little over a week ago.

I am now a mother-in-law and eventually will become a grandmother.
It’s a lot to wrap my head around.
Although the title of mother-in-law does not scare me, 
the label of “grandmother” is a bit more than I can chew.
To make light of this, I have been polling my friends for names other than “grandma” 
so I can train (not really, but yes really) 
my grandkids not  to call me grandma. 
Of course, I am joking…sort of. 
The idea of being a grandma is scarier than being a “mother-in-law” despite all of the latter’s negative connotations. I love my son-in-law and couldn’t be happier that he is my oldest daughter’s husband.
So, what do I do about becoming a grandma? Although this is not an imminent situation in the least, I am still thinking about it. And, although I joke about it, I recognize that this worry is all about getting older and coming to terms with what that means for me. After all, I’m not the first person to ever grow old or the last one; everyone grows old and many of us go through these life stages. 
Nevertheless, something’s holding me back from enjoying this stage of my life fully. I know I will need to grapple with this sooner or later, so this is a first attempt, but certainly not my last.
Is it because of society’s expectation that I should start to think about retirement that I am feeling this way? Perhaps.
Or, is it because I don’t consider myself “old”, just growing older, that I am at odds with myself? I have a lot of energy and feel like I could put in a lot more years in the classroom.
Most likely, it’s the realization that a person’s life is just a split second moment of time in the universe. It’s part of coming of age, so to speak. The only path I can take is to embrace this new stage of my life gracefully and joyfully. 
I love the woman my newly wed daughter has become. It is a happy time for my family. 
Life is sweet. Life is good. I am grateful.