I subscribe to Poetry Minute, a website curated by former Poet Laureate Ken Nesbitt. A recent post featured Kalli Dakos’ poem, There’s a New Me This Year, which inspired me to reflect on all of the ways I try to reinvent myself. I wrote the call and response piece below in an attempt to sort through my conflicted feelings and thoughts about becoming a NEW ME.
There’s a New ME This Year
An organized ME.
I’m already pretty organized. At least that’s what everyone tells me even though I don’t see myself that way. So, can I become a new and improved, organized ME that can see me for what I am and says: that’s good enough?
A find-everything-when-I-need-it ME.
That would certainly be a good thing! I may be organized but when I need something, I can’t find it. What good is being organized if I can’t find the things I need when I need them?
A focused-on-my-important-goals ME.
Oh, this is so hard! I always have so many goals I want to focus on. Which ones are the truly important ones? The ones that will leave a mark? Will be my legacy?
A start-to-finish-I-can-do-it ME.
A not-afraid-of-everything ME. A worst-scenario-is-the-last-scenario-I-will-consider ME.
Working on both of those for sure!
A not-everything-is-about-me-someone’s-out-to-get-me ME. I’m-not-a-victim-anymore Me.
This has been my defence mechanism for so long that I don’t know if I would be able to tell the difference if I’m being targeted by someone of if I’m being targeted by myself!
The problem is that parts of the NEW ME
are not like ME
at all.
Is that so bad? Can I reinvent and sustain a NEW ME even if it will feel strange at first? Even if it will feel like I’m pretending to be a ME I don’t recognize? Or will all of these intentions just flitter away at the end of January?
Cross posted to the Two Writing Teachers Tuesday Slice of Life Story Challenge.
Elisa Waingort 
Those are pretty fascinating and deep ideas you are having. I think what it says to me as I read it is a new you is a more reflective you. That’s not imposter-you, that’s you looking closer at who you are and who you want to be. I say go for it! I also wish you luck. I can identify with some of the things you listed and it’s not going to be easy, but awareness and effort can certainly have an impact.
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Hmmm, I like what you say here about a “more reflective me”. I think this is what really matters in the big scheme of things and not what idea or strategy I put in place to solve the puzzle of a “new me”. Will be thinking a lot about this during 2021. Happy New Year!
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If the new matters to you, you will invest time and grow into “new me.” The fact that you are even thinking about this shows that you care about yourself and this is what matters. I wish you resilience and joy on your change journey!
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Thank you, Terje! Your comment really resonates with me as it connects to what Betsy said about being a “more reflective me”. Caring about myself hasn’t always been easy for me, but something I’ve been trying to cultivate this year. Thank you for pointing it out.
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