Relationships, Relationships, Rlationships

Over the last couple of years I’ve been reflecting on the quality of the relationships I have with particularly challenging children. I think I haven’t been true to my core as a teacher. I have forgotten to emphasize the importance of connections with students, especially those that are hard to teach and reach. I have reacted on an emotional level rather teaching these students by modeling appropriate behaviors without passing judgment.

I have felt shame and frustration and have resorted to punitive measures rather than teaching and guiding.

I could blame this on COVID or that I’m close to retirement or that I’m tired or any of a number of excuses that don’t help me move forward on the path to engaging and supporting students. The truth is: I’m not a brand new teacher facing new situations with kids. I am a seasoned teacher facing some familiar student behaviors and academic profiles.

So, I’m not going to blame kids or myself, for that matter.

Instead, I will take deep breaths, get up off the floor and do what’s best for kids…and for me: nurture connections that build relationships. It’s never too late.

Every day is another opportunity to get it right. And, on some days, I do.

This year I am struggling with a particular student who doesn’t follow directions, does not seem to be aware of our routines. Imagine that! (Just kidding!) I’ve tried everything I know to connect with this child so I can better teach them. And I am flummoxed.

To top it off, I feel I have little to no support managing this student’s behaviors that range from non-compliance to deliberate resistance to doing any task that requires sustained attention without an adult sitting side-by-side with them.

But I know that every day I have a fresh opportunity to get it right. That is one of the things I love about teaching.

When confronting a problem of teaching, I take a deep dive into the professional literature. I usually come up full. This time it’s Teachers These Days, Stories and Strategies for Reconnection by Jody Carrington and Laurie McIntosh.

Jody and Laurie remind readers to focus on relationships: building them, nourishing them and repairing them. Even on the days that I’m tired, I need to remain curious about my students so I can learn, engage and teach all of them.

I’d love to read your thoughts about these issues. Feel free to le leave a comment below.