In April, it will be a year since my mom passed away.
This week my brother and I sold her condo in Miami.
My brother has promised to send me some pictures and other things he found when he cleaned her apartment to get it ready to sell.
I can imagine the pictures that he will be sending me. I can see all of them on the walls of her apartment.
I am writing about this to prepare myself for that package.
My relationship with my mom was always a battlefield. I never knew when something I’d say or do would cause her to attack or belittle me.
And nothing I could write here will do justice to the complexity of our relationship.
The truth is that I loved her, but I also feared her.
She was very controlling and manipulative.
And I am still working through a jumble of unresolved emotions.
But I have to make peace with myself.
I have to make peace with her.
And I have to make peace with our relationship.
I am hoping the “stuff” my brother promised to send will help move me in that direction. I am sure they will stir a lot of buried memories.
Remembering is always a positive step forward.
I am ready to look back and accept the range of feelings I experience when I think of my mom so I can move forward.
Here I go.
Cross posted to The Two Writing Teachers Slice of Life Story Challenge.