Today I went shopping.

Even though the warmer temperatures beckoned me to go for a walk, I went shopping instead.

While I was in the store I kept thinking: “do I really need this?” every time I put something else in my cart.

When I was growing up “going shopping” was a happy event. One that I enjoyed doing with my mom.

After our relationship deteriorated I stayed away from home for longer and longer periods of time.

But I’d still go shopping, just not with my mom.

When I was shopping, I was happy…for a little while at least. It helped me avoid dealing with my feelings.

When I “go shopping” I am transported to happier times.

(This slice didn’t end up in the place I thought it would.)

Because as it turns out, I am just beginning to explore my complicated relationship with my mom.

If I didn’t realize that before it was because I was too busy shopping to notice.

Cross posted to The Two Writing Teachers March Slice of Life Story Challenge.